18 Soul-Shining Gifts for Sonographers Who See Babies Before We Do
You get to see babies! First hello! I love that! First picture of little foot! And then Louis CK in me says, yeah, but also you see gallbladders at 7 AM and someone says is that normal and you can't say, you have to say ask doctor, while holding gel that is always cold. Buying gift for you is tricky, because you bring joy and also tell people to hold breath for 20 seconds while pressing on bladder. So gift has to be soft and strong, like you.
Chair Cushion
Oh, I love this cushion moment! Memory foam, sits like cloud! And look, you sit, twist, reach, scan for 30 patients, back goes ouch by 10 AM. This saves spine. So you don't stand up sounding like Rice Krispies commercial. Makes sitting and twisting all day feel like sitting on Oprah's favorite couch, not on torture chair that hates you.
Wrist Brace
You get support! Beautiful support! For wrist that does same flick 200 times a day, probe push, push, hold breath. Wrist says enough. This brace holds it, squeezes gently, like hug. So you can keep scanning without feeling like wrist will fall off and roll under table. Makes wrist last longer than one busy Monday where everyone is pregnant and also has gallstones. Why Mondays?
Hand Warmer
Your hands are cold. Always cold. Gel is cold, room is cold, patient says your hands are cold. You say sorry for 100th time today. This warmer plugs in, warms gel, warms hands. So gel not ice cube from hell. Makes patient not jump and you not apologize again. Small warm miracle. Oprah loves warm miracle. Louis loves not apologizing 100 times.
Gel Warmer
I LOVE warm gel! Favorite things! No more cold shock that makes patient levitate off table! This warms bottles, keeps warm. So scan starts nice, not with sorry sorry it's cold. Makes patient like you in first 2 seconds, which is all you get before they judge your entire career based on gel temperature. Warm gel, warm welcome. Simple.
Comfortable Shoes
You get shoes! Cute, supportive, don't squeak! And here's thing, you stand, walk room to room, 12,000 steps pushing machine that weighs more than my first car. Cheap shoes kill feet by lunch. These don't. So you can walk to next patient without limping like you fought ultrasound machine and lost. Makes walking all day feel like walking on Oprah's garden path, not parking lot in July.
Blue Light Glasses
Oh, protect those beautiful eyes! Screen dark, bright blobs moving, you stare 8 hours. Eyes burn by 3 PM. These block blue, so eyes not sandpaper at night. You still look tired, like raccoon who sees babies, but you can sleep without seeing gallbladders when you close eyes. Makes screen time less like staring into sun that shows you liver.
Laptop Stand
Lift it up! Eye level! I love eye level! You chart, you type report that says unremarkable 40 times. Hunching makes neck disappear. This lifts, you look straight, not like turtle who gave up. So you can type this fetus is perfect without looking at double chin in Zoom. Makes typing reports feel dignified, even when report says 10th normal gallbladder today.
Desk Organizer
Organize! I love organizing! Wipes, gel bottles, that one probe cover that always rips. This has slots. So you find cover without digging like raccoon while patient watches you dig and thinks are you even professional. Makes you look pro, even when inside you're thinking I have to pee but patient is next. Organizer holds stuff, you hold bladder. Teamwork.
Insulated Tumbler
You get hot coffee! You get hot coffee all day! Keeps hot 12 hours, which is your shift plus overtime because someone always late. So coffee at 7 AM and coffee at 7 PM same hot. Makes staying awake while looking at 20th liver that looks like all livers possible. Hot coffee is hope. Oprah knows hope. Louis knows you need hope to look at liver again.
Hand Cream
Luxury! Thick cream, smells like lavender, not hospital! Hands wash 60 times, crack, bleed, lotion from bathroom does nothing. This fixes. So you can go home and touch baby without baby crying because hands are sandpaper. Makes hands soft after day of being in gloves that make hands pruny like old apple. Soft hands, hard job. Beautiful.
Sling Bag
Cross body, light, holds phone, snacks, that reference card for weird measurements you always forget. You sling, hands free to push machine that weighs ton. So you don't carry 3 things and drop phone on floor that has seen things. Makes moving room to room feel light, like Oprah's favorite bag that holds everything but looks cute doing it.
Work Light
Little LED, clips on machine, bright. Room dark for better image, but dark for finding cord that you trip over. This lights floor, not screen. So you don't fall and become patient in your own room, which would be ironic and paperwork. Makes dark room less like cave where you might die from tripping over machine you love.
Noise Cancelling Headphones
Silence! My favorite sound! For break room, 10 minutes no baby questions, no my doctor said. Just quiet. So brain resets after telling 15 people to hold breath and they breathe anyway. Makes quiet possible in day that is all talking and gel squirting. Quiet is gift. Oprah knows. Louis knows quiet is only time you don't hear hold your breath.
Posture Corrector
Oh, stand tall! Beautiful posture! You hunch over pregnant belly trying to get perfect profile, back screams. This pulls shoulders back, gentle reminder. So you don't become hunchback of ultrasound by 40. Makes standing tall feel like you have string pulling you up, like Oprah moment when you win prize and stand taller. Small string, big help.
Desk Plant
Fake green! I love green! Makes dark ultrasound room less like bunker. You look at plant between patients, plant doesn't need scan, plant just sits being green. Calm. So you breathe before next patient who will ask what is that and you say that's your liver and they say is that bad. Plant doesn't ask. Plant just is. Peaceful plant.
Massage Ball
Roll it! Under foot! Heaven after 10 hours! And truth, feet kill, back kills, shoulder that holds probe kills. You roll ball against wall, go ahh like audience when I say you get car. Makes pain move out of body for 5 minutes. Makes pain have somewhere to go instead of staying and becoming you. Roll, breathe, next baby.
Tote Bag
Canvas, strong, holds lunch, scrubs, reference book that weighs more than baby you scanned. You carry from car to hospital to car again. Handles don't rip when you put 10 things because you can. Makes carrying whole office on shoulder feel lighter, like you have assistant, but assistant is bag that doesn't complain about gel being cold.
Mini Projector
Unexpected favorite! Tiny projector for teaching, shows perfect baby profile big on wall. For students, for explaining to mom-to-be look that's nose. Big picture, tears, Oprah tears! Makes tiny screen big moment. So mom cries happy tears, you cry because you love your job for 2 minutes before next gallbladder. Big picture, big heart.
